Emotional Intelligence

Have you ever met that teacher that was somehow able to understand you and your situation?  That was somehow able to say exactly what you needed to hear at the right moment.  If not, you have probably met the one who is unable to understand at all what you are going through or how to reach you.  As educators, one of the most important skills we need to develop is not how to write the most elaborate lesson plans or manage a thought provoking classroom discussion.  The most overlooked skill is that of emotional intelligence or the ability to recognize one's own and other people's emotions.  As teachers begin to understand the emotional aspect of learning, they can more easily engage students in wanting to learn.

Before teachers are able to read their students' or other teachers' emotions, they first need to learn to recognize their own.  This can be easier said than done.  It requires us to be truly honest with ourselves and not be complacent.  It requires us to admit our own shortcomings as we are self reflective on our work.  As we do this however, we can make tremendous growth in short amount of time.  As we humbly seek to get better, we will open our eyes to new ways of doing things that will enable us to help students learn.  I recently had a conversation with my teachers on the importance of having high expectations for all students.  This is not a new idea or new concept nor is it one that many people would disagree with.  We should expect great things from all of our students.  In being honest with ourselves though, we will see ways in which we are not holding all our students to the same expectations.  As we reflectively look at our own biases and our own hot buttons that keep us from expecting a certain student to be successful, we can begin to address those areas and explore ways we can change those perceptions we have for the better.

It is also important that we learn to understand what our students are feeling and what is causing those emotions.  This does not happen unless you have a teacher who is willing to invest in that child's life, who is willing to develop a relationship with that child.  Once you know their background, their interests, their family dynamic, and understand their story, it will be that much easier to understand their emotional state.  I have a general rule of thumb in working with teachers on my campus in terms of student discipline, and that is that you should never send a student to the office for a discipline issue until you know their favorite color, their favorite tv show, who their best friend is, what is their favorite thing about school, etc.  The reason for that is you do not want to send that students off to someone else until you have invested in that child's life and worked to understand them.  If you do, you are communicating to that child that you have already given up on them before you even understood them.

So how do we make this happen.  Here at Altamira Academy, each class devotes 30 minutes each morning to Social and Emotional Learning (SEL).  We have a "Morning Meeting" each day where our children have the opportunities to share their feelings, their successes and their failures.  We are able to talk about the issues we are facing as a group and have lessons on ways that we should interact with each other.  These meetings help build a sense of community in the classroom.  It gives students a voice and allows them time to understand their own emotions.  I have seen our students grow and enjoy being at school as they are given the chance to express their emotions opening with their classmates and as a sense of community is established with their peers.

I want to end by sharing a post from a teacher who powerfully understood the need for emotional intelligence in the classroom.  http://momastery.com/blog/2014/01/30/share-schools/

This is something that I wish I had understood when I began teaching.  I didn't really value the importance of relationship building and understanding the emotions of others until I was in an administrative role.  Hopefully this inspires teachers to reflect on their own practices and begin to tap into the power of emotion as they work with their students.

Staying Engaged

It was 5:00 pm on a Friday afternoon.  We had just completed week 5 of the new school year at Altamira.  As a brand new campus, there is always something that is calling my attention.  I have struggled more and enjoyed more this particular position and school than anything else I have experienced.  There I was however sitting at my desk, eyes closed, exhausted and on the verge of tears,... thinking... decompressing... overwhelmed with the task that I had chosen confront.  This was the latest of many similar experiences I have had over the last few months as I have worked to get our campus up and running.  It wasn't the first nor was it the last time that the thought crept into my mind, "What am I doing here?"  And then I remembered.  I'm here because of the students.  Not because of all the other things that make my job more stressful than it needs to be, but because there are students out there who need people committed to helping them learn to be successful.

See education can be a challenging and difficult career.  I have known many educators, and ready about others, who at the end of the day just couldn't do it anymore.  They couldn't play the political game, balance the demands of state testing while instilling core values in their students, deal with outdated evaluation systems, and just work harder to get paid less than they could doing something else.  It's sad when I see good people leave education.  Is the system perfect?  No, but that is all the more reason why we need good educators to stay engaged and keep working hard for the kids.

Staying engaged is easier said than done.  For me I have tried a few things everyday to keep me going:

1. Have fun!  Everyday I try to do something with the kids that is just fun.  At Altamira Academy, we start everyday with a morning dance party where students get to wait for our morning announcements by doing Just Dance videos (Thank you Seth Boynton for the suggestion).  I love seeing the students smile and laugh as we start each day.
2. Get to know the students.  The better relationship I develop with my students and the more engaged I am in their lives, the easier it is to wake up each morning and know I have to be there for them.  It keeps me focused on what is really important.
3. Set student centered goals.  It is important for me to focus my goals around the students.  This helps me stay energized on what I need to be doing and keeps me focused on my purpose as an educator.  That has changed as I have changed roles, but what is always constant is the focus on the student learning.

We can try to improve education in many different ways, but if our best teachers do not stay engaged in the system, it is going to be difficult to improve.  In what ways do you as educators work to stay engaged as you hit bumps in the road?

Why I let my failures define me

So I have been working on professional development for my teachers for the upcoming school year.  We are opening a brand new campus this year and I am leading the group as the campus principal.  I have felt honored but also a little terrified at what this means.  Here we have a school that has never existed in the past, teachers who barely know each other, and a new set of students and parents coming together for the first time.  I feel a great deal of pressure to make sure that this is a positive educational experience for everyone involved.  As I approached the school year, I was thinking about what I could tell my teachers to prepare them for what lay ahead of them.  The thought that kept coming to my mind what that I should let my failures define me.  Let me explain.

I have heard the phrase do not let your failures define you.  I have heard people say this as a way of motivating me to overcome a set back look for the success ahead of me.  It is not bad advise, but looking back, I feel there is something powerful in looking back on my experiences and my failures or times where I was less than successful.  These experiences have shaped my life, built my character, and taught me to be the person I am today.

I have not always been successful in everything I have done.  Growing up I loved sports, and at times felt that athletic success was the most important thing in my life.  After being cut from the basketball team, repeatedly underperforming in state cross country meets, being benched for the state championship baseball game, and coming in last place in a state track meet, I started to lose confidence in my ability to perform in crucial situations.  I was afraid of failure.  I lacked the mental toughness to keep going I was challenged.  I expected that if I was good, things would be easy.  I saw failure as weakness instead of an opportunity to get improve.

Going to college helped a little but not much.  I started studying civil engineering.  A few c's and d's later, I realized I probably needed to find something different to study.  Again once I was challenged, instead of working hard to find a solution, I simply decided that maybe this wasn't for me.  I ran away instead of facing my failures.

Things started to change when I served my 2 year LDS mission to Honduras.  I was suddenly immersed in a language and culture that was completely foreign to me.  If I was ever going to learn to speak Spanish or understand the culture and people around me, I had to try to speak, fail miserably, and let others teach me.  For the first time in my life, I learned how to learn, to really learn.  I learned how to face a challenge without giving up.  I saw failure as an essential step in my learning and success.  For the first time, I embraced mistakes and failures.  I let this define me and was not afraid of it.  And I was successful.  I learned Spanish very well.  I eventually went on to graduate with a degree in Spanish and have now found something I love.

When I returned from my missionary service, I approached school and life with a new sense of confidence and willingness to put myself out there and embrace my shortcomings.  I was not always successful in everything I did.  I had job interviews that did not go well.  I have faced rejection many times.  The difference was, I no longer felt afraid.  I knew I would have success in the end.  I simply took those opportunities and reflected on ways I could have done better.

As a "Superhero Teacher" it is important that your students fail and see you fail, daily.  They can't be afraid of making a mistake.  The mistakes and failures in class are the ways that we learn.  As teachers, we cannot be afraid of making a mistake.  If we are, we are unlikely to try that new approach to teaching we see in trainings, or invest too much in that student who probably isn't going to get it in the end.  It's too risky.  What if it doesn't work?  What if they don't let them help me?  Then am I wasting my time?  Or are you taking that chance and understanding that while it might not work today, I will get better and eventually find my own way to be the teacher that literally can change lives.

So please, let your failures define you.  Use them, daily, to learn and be better.  If not, you will ultimately just fail.